Airports

So, I retired.
I can travel, I can go anywhere I want. I have the time. I have the bucks. I have the cat sitter. What I am afraid I cannot do is airports.
Pigs in a factory farm are treated better than the average flyer.
I am fortunate to live in a city with a small airport, and I generally fly to and from there. Check in takes about a minute. TSA takes about two. You usually know the TSA people from the community, from church, from work - and they are Minnesota nice because their jobs are good. I can't remember the last time I flew out of anywhere but Gate 4, which is about ten feet from the TSA area. Life is good.
Airport behavior interests me. Everyone is always in a hurry. Makes sense, I guess if you have a short connection. Or if you are attempting to flee the law or a really pissed-off spouse or co-worker.
Well, hello there, Mister. You were the one who slammed into me! I was the one with a fresh hot cup of coffee and you ran over my foot with your grossly oversized carry-on bag. Now that I have arrived at my gate, I see you are on my flight. That's funny. Our flight doesn't leave for another 2 hr and 45 minutes. I am sure, however, it was important to you to get here before me. (You would have anyway, since I had to stop at the medical station for treatment of hot coffee burns and a broken toe).
Some of the things they sell at airports puzzle me. Why would I buy and iPod from a vending machine at an airport? Vikings sweatshirts? Few people going from one flight to another will be Vikings fans at the Minneapolis airport. The few fans that do go through there likely already have one, and it likely cost 1/10 what this one does. Does it make sense to buy and consume an energy drink when you are going to sit in a crowded tin can for the next four hours and 37 minutes? Why would you buy a piece of luggage at the airport? You already have one and it's packed and they say you can only take one as carry-on. Unless you take it back to your car in the long-term parking lot and then you would have to go through TSA again. At that point, I would deem you mentally unfit to fly.

Sigh. So I retired. And I am going to look into Amtrak.