Well, this isn't really fair...

So I retired.

Yesterday morning, at 3:44 AM, my carbon monoxide detector started to chirp. Now, I generally sleep like a dead woman, and never wake up for things like tornado warning sirens, thunderstorms, or cats walking on my body. For some reason, chirping a mere 4 feet away caused me to emerge from stage 4 sleep. This device, with an obvious life-saving purpose, will begin to chirp when the battery is low. When the battery dies, it screams.

So, at 3:44 AM, with my usual hyper vigilant reaction to being brought out of a deep unconsciousness, my first thought was, oh, well, I don't have to worry about it. I am RETIRED.

Several minutes passed. Likely not a logical conclusion. Do ya think???

This particular device is so very hard to open. It is plugged into the wall, and when you pull it out, it begins to scream. It's a VERY LOUD scream. I can't get the back plate off. Do I have an extra 9-volt battery? Where are the instructions? File folders. Misc household appliances. Ah, here it is. English, I need English. OK, use your thumb and push down here. Battery won't come out. Broken fingernail. Damn. PLEASE stop screaming!! Battery - YESSSS! Down below the box of old checks. AHHHHHHH!

This happened before. I didn't want to deal with it so I put the damn thing under several pillows in my car. I could still hear it.

Next morning, I was contemplating the whole event. That first thought - I don't have to deal with this any more. Several thoughts like this have been swirling around since retirement. OK, I no longer must work. So, doesn't work include such things as making coffee? Emptying the cat box? Brushing one's teeth? Laundry? Cleaning out the closets?

Guess not. It would be nice, though. Someone from my former place of employment comes every day and says, "Hello, Ma'am, I'm here to clean your cat box!" He proceeds to scoop out and exits with a smelly bag, just like the Ghost Busters, saying, "Thanks, Ma'am, I'll see you tomorrow!" Mayo Feline Excrement Removal Service.

Well, I was back asleep after 20 minutes or so. Dream on.
And, Note to Mayo:
Load the Grind/Brew with 3 heaping scoops Trader Joes Peaberry, and a little over 2 cups of drinking water...